Book Review: The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson

This is the first time ever that I am attempting a book review post...so here goes nothing. ;)

Andrew Peterson, my favorite singer/musician (seriously, look up some of his songs! He is incredible!), came to our area and did a concert a couple months ago. Not only is he a musical artist and has put out several albums, he has also written a YA fantasy-fiction series of four books called, "The Wingfeather Saga."

I actually don't think I have ever read from the fantasy genre (except for the Narnia series, which should be required reading for everyone). But curiosity got the better of me, and I had to check out Andrew Peterson's books, since his songs encourage and inspire me so much.

So, long story short, I bought the whole series at his concert in October. I could tell right away that the books would be good because the back cover of one of them made me laugh out loud. The first book I finished within a couple days (when you find a book that you cannot put down to save your life and you end up reading in bed until 3am, you know you've got a good one!). I made myself wait until cracking open the next book because I wanted it to last as long as possible, but my self-control wore off after about seven days and I gobbled up the rest of the series within two weeks.

Here is a quick blurb about the story:

Step into the land of Aerwiar where toothy cows roam the forest, Stranders hide around the next bend, sea dragons dance in the sea, and the venomous Fangs of Dang have infiltrated, causing legends of hope to be forgotten in darkness.
"Janner and his siblings, Tink and Leeli Igiby thought they were normal children with normal lives and a normal past. But now they know they’re really the Lost Jewels of Anniera, heirs to a legendary kingdom across the sea, and suddenly everyone wants to kill them.
Janner's father was the High King of the Shining Isle of Anniera. But his father is gone. The kingdom has fallen. The royal family is on the run, and the Fang armies of Gnag the Nameless are close behind."Encountering danger, adventure, and mystery, Janner, Tink, Leeli, their noble mother and their ex-pirate grandfather must persevere with love and courage to find safety and bring redemption to a broken world.

Andrew's writing is so eloquent; I have never encountered another writer with the same knack for writing so deeply, realistically, and beautifully. The story was so engaging that I found myself living in the world of Aerwiar. Andrews plot line was edge-of-your-seat, I-can't-believe-he-fit-so-much-action-into-one-book. (*Disclaimer* I have never read The Lord of the Rings (*GASP!* I know, pick your jaw up off the floor now), but the action-adventure resembled what I have gathered is in that series. While the Wingfeather saga was less of an allegory like the Chronicles of Narnia, it holds some wonderful and cleverly-woven life-lessons about selflessness, sacrifice, courage, brotherly love, protection, perseverance, hope, redemption, true treasure, and so much more!

Andrew's characters are extremely colorful and creative--hilarious, quirky, blustering, warmhearted, broken, and treacherous--yet all possessing a depth and realness that is unusual to find among writers nowadays. Tender, riveting, and hilarious, I found myself both laughing out loud and crying as I turned the pages. It takes a rare and uniquely gifted storyteller to weave such a story full of heart. I won't give you any spoilers, but the conclusion was incredible--I've never read a more perfect ending to any book, much less a series. Once I finished the saga, I found myself walking around the house, mesmerized, still so powerfully impacted by the emotions and unable to get my head out of Aerwiar and back into reality. Even though words failed me, I couldn't stop exclaiming over and over what an amazingly incredible story Andrew Peterson had written! I probably drove my family crazy with how captivated I was. XP

So, all that to say, even though I guess the big gift-buying season is over, when y'all are ready to settle down and curl up with a good book, go check out The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson! :) You can read more about the books, order them, AND hear about their animated series which is in the works(!) at http://wingfeathersaga.com/

Merry Christmas, everyone! I pray you all have a wonderful time remembering and celebrating the birth of our Savior!

When You Are at Your Darkest

Whew! Has it really been over two months since my last blog post?? I feel bad that I've been so sporadic with this blog! I've pretty much accepted that this is the way it's gonna be with how crazy my life is right now, but I am trying to get better. :) Thank you for your patience with me!

So on to the blog post that y'all have been waiting for... XP
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Life is so hard sometimes. We can become so easily consumed with our own darkness, it is hard to see any light coming through. As a result of the Fall, pain is a part of everyone's experience. Some feel pain in different ways or various quantities than others, and it is hard to empathize fully with someone else's experience. Just because we may not be able to relate with someone else's pain, though, doesn't make it any less real for them. I think that a lot of times, (and I say this from personal experience), we tend to judge how other people are struggling with their challenges and we have a difficult time understanding from their perspective. We have to remember, though, that just like our own pain is a real experience for us, someone else's pain is just as valid as ours, even if we cannot understand from their point of view.

A lot of times, life makes no sense to us. And you know what I've had to realize? That's okay. We don't need to understand everything. We only need to trust the One who does. I tend to become so bogged down with my own whirlwind of struggles that I refuse to look up and realize that in the bigger picture, God's holding all of this in His hands. The truth is, as much as it is near impossible for us in our fallible flesh to comprehend, the same God who sovereignly ordained all of history has also chosen to put us through our respective fiery trials. We are being refined and taught by the One that knows best for us, and He has promised in His Word that He will work everything out for our good (Rom. 8:28)...and His glory. He never leaves us, even in our darkest moments. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." (Isaiah 43:2)

It's hard to believe that in our darkest moments, when we feel the most unlovable, God loves us anyways. Yet, the very message of the Gospel is that REGARDLESS of what we do or how we feel, Jesus' work on the cross bought and sealed our salvation for good. What more evidence do we need of His unconditional love for us than to look at the cross and realize that He died to save us when we were still in our sins; still in our darkness; when we were the ones who condemned Him to death. If He died for us when we were still in our darkest sin, why would He not in the same way love us and want our good even now? Sometimes, we need to be broken and emptied of ourselves before we can be filled and healed by God.

If we walk through our trials and struggles relying on God's joy as our strength, our testimony will bring glory to Him. Even in the darkness of our lives, God is still worthy of our praise. Even if we ONLY have our salvation, we have so much to be thankful for, and that realization will lead us to praise, which will lead to true joy. God's ways are not our ways, and we don't have to understand everything He does to know that He is perfectly righteous in it all.

Life is rough. It's hard. It's painful. We're all beaten, battered, and bruised.  The challenge for all of us is to leave the pieces of our broken hearts in the palms of the God who is able to mend anything. Even if he doesn't take away the pain, when we learn to commit to trusting Him with our whole hearts--even when it doesn't makes sense--He can bring light and beauty to the brokenness. Sometimes all we need is a change of perspective.

Why I Don't Read Christian Romance Novels

Well, I've been blogging for almost a year now, so it's finally high time for me to jump into some controversial topics. ;)

Reading the title of this post, you probably instantly became either excited ("Yay! Someone else thinks like me!"), shocked ("What!??!! What is this girl's deal?"), or curious ("hmmm...never heard this before.")

Before we jump in, let me make a clarification: When I say that I don't read Christian romance novels, I don't mean that I don't read books with romance in them. To be quite fair, some of my favorite novels have romantic aspects in them (more on that later). What I mean is that I stay away from novels--even Christian ones--with the entire prose being, "Girl loves this totally perfect guy! Guy ignores girl. Girl goes through major heartache before deciding to do something about it. Girl get's guy!" Let's be perfectly honest here, those books are stupid, annoying, and just plain dumb. Romance novels in general tend to be extremely graphic--like a rated R movie--and putting the word "Christian" in front of these novels usually doesn't help. They can still be pointless, sensual, irresponsible, and unedifying--possibly more disappointing than regular romance novels, because Christians are supposed to be held to a higher standard.

How can romance novels be so bad? Let me put it this way: romance novels (in most cases even "Christian" ones,) are to girls what pornography is to guys. Both feed the lust of a girl or a guy. Both paint unrealistic expectations of what real love is, so that when someone who is used to indulging in those expectations ends up getting married in real life, they become disenchanted when it doesn't meet the ideals that they have been fed. These glorified images--be them pictures or words that set your imagination running--can turn into idolatry.

Us girls have very sensitive heartstrings. Authors and publishing companies know this, and they know that most girls will gobble up anything that feeds their emotional desire for romance. When you read a book (or watch a movie), the authors and storytellers are trying to emotionally rope you in to get you to keep reading past the first page. (Y'all knew this, right? You're not suddenly thinking that all writers are malicious, right?) A good author knows how to connect you emotionally with her characters, so that as you are reading about their lives, you can identify with the protagonist(s). All authors will tell you that this is a super effective tool in writing to connect with their readers. The thing is, this is also a very powerful tool, and authors have to be very careful about what they draw their readers into emotionally. Romantic novels are crafted solely to satisfy a girl's desire for emotional romanticism. I'm sure you can all identify (either first-hand or second-hand) with falling in love with a main character from a book or movie.

Here's the thing with romance novels: THEY ARE ENTIRELY UNREALISTIC! They abound with guys who have no physical or character flaws (or flaws that are glorified to become "hot," like the likability of the "bad boy), "heroines" whose world solely revolves around her and her heartache, and situations in which it is excusable or understandable to go haywire. These characters' world is artificially manufactured by the author to create the most drama possible, most of which would never happen in real life, making it difficult to discern what the right thing is to do in real life situations.

What is the purpose in these novels, anyways? The girl always gets the guy at the end. So what? Is that a good moral to apply to everyday life? "Any and every guy your feelings happen to take a fancy to is DEFINITELY the one for you, and you CERTAINLY should not let anything get in the way of you two. And don't listen to anyone trying to tell you otherwise." The hard truth is, feelings can lead you drastically astray. Just because you are in love with a guy does NOT mean that said guy is the right one for you. Girls need to be hearing that self-control and purity starts in their thoughts carries into their actions, instead of creating an appetite for idolatrous romance and the message that we deserve to be with any guy that makes us feel good.

Now let me make an important distinction here. I am not saying that all books with romance in them are bad. Honestly, what YA fiction book doesn't have some degree of a romantic side-story in it? Some of the best books I ever read ("Mara, Daughter of the Nile," "Harvest of Rubies" and "Harvest of Gold," "The Trail of Tears" and "The Bronze Bow" to name a few) have a guy and a girl that fall in love and/or are married. However, I did not love these books because of their romantic aspects. Some authors get romance right and don't paint everything with rose-colored glasses that entangle us emotionally in unrealistic expectations. Most of the time, I enjoy a book in spite of the romance. I end up loving it because of the author's style, story, theme, and the lesson taught, not the thrill from reading about a guy and a girl.

To sum up, romance is not a bad thing per se. BUT, the subtleties can create idolatrous ideals without our realizing it. What we read does effect us, and the way that romance novels unconsciously effect us can be very destructive to real-life relationships. I know that this is a very controversial topic and that people have different standards. This is just an explanation of why I chose my standards. No matter what, we should always strive to please God with what we are consuming our thoughts and our time with. 

Thoughts on Pride Vs. Self-Esteem

Self-esteem seems to be an issue that I hear a lot about in today's culture. It seems like many people struggle with low self-worth, and many secular inspirational sayings have to do with valuing oneself. The issue of having a low self-worth is something that touched me and I wrote "My Father's Princess" to try and address the subject. Everyone is special and unique, and being confident in who you are is not a bad thing--in fact, it is a biblical command to recognize the value of each individual person.

However, the disconnect that I seem to be seeing between biblical self-worth and secular self-esteem is this: Where are you finding your worth? If you look to Jesus, who declared "I have loved you; I have called you by name, you are Mine," (Is. 43) then you will see how much He values you, and you can find your worth and your confidence in Him. God thought about you before time even began. He planned all your days, created you unlike any other human being in the history of the planet, and placed you right where you are right now so that you could accomplish the purpose that only you were created to accomplish. Jesus valued your life so much that He died for you even when you were running from Him. The Heavenly Father has adopted you as His child, and you are infinitely precious in His eyes. God is where your self-worth comes from.

If, however, you are looking inside of yourself as many people who are trying to sound inspiring are telling you to do, you won't be apt to find much. In fact, you might just get more discouraged as you find that "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me" (Ps. 51:5) and, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9) This type of self-esteem is called pride, and pride is a very serious sin warned against in many places in the Bible. Pride is the attitude that you are better, more competent, more important, and wiser than others--or God. A prideful heart can really do damage to your relationship with others in your life, not to mention your relationship with God. 'For "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."' (1 Peter 5:5)

The tricky thing with pride is that it takes root in the most discrete ways. To some degree, we ALL struggle with pride on one level or another. Pride can be manifested overtly, but it can also be an attitude buried deep in one's heart. Thinking of yourself more highly than others seems like something easy to avoid, but we can subconsciously slip into that attitude easier than anything. I find myself constantly needing to examine my heart and really ask myself if my thinking is as humble as I'd like to believe.

I have noticed that pride and self-esteem, though two very different virtues (in fact, one is more of a vice,) seem to get very confused in today's culture. It is common to meet people who act pridefully but will justify it saying that they simply have high self-esteem. Especially now, as Christians are losing their influence to the world, I think it is especially important that we learn the difference between the two qualities, and keep our hearts in line with His.

My Favorite Books

As a writer, part of learning how to write is obviously reading good books. As a young die-hard bookworm, I enjoyed many books, regardless of whether they were good or not. From reading and studying the styles of many different authors, I got an idea of what I liked in books, and that helped me learn how to write a book that other people would like to read. Today I thought it would be fun to look back and list some of the books I considered my favorite at one point or another in my life (again, regardless of whether they were good or not), and share that list with y'all. Most of the books on my list are series, but each author on the list had a part to play in influencing my own writing style (hopefully in a good way). :)

The Pony Pals series by Jeanne Betancourt

Okay, so I wrote my first chapter book when I was nine in a notebook that my aunt gave me with a fuzzy tiger-print cover. I would stay awake at night and write a section or so after I was put to bed, and the writing style and story line heavily echoed the Pony Pals books. I was addicted to this series because 1.) I was a crazy horse lover even then, and 2.) I have always been an organizer. Jeanne Betancourt's writing style totally catered to AND developed the methodical planner and organizer in me. Plans of action were dialogued extensively between the characters, illustrations were used to diagram, and there was a lot of fun outdoorsy stuff that happened that I learned fun facts from. The books were definitely written for younger kids (I must have been between 8 and 10 when I was obsessed with them), and if I were to read the books now not taking into account my fond nostalgia of them, they would probably drive me nuts because the plot moves along slowly and some of the conversation scenes can be both corny and boring. However, at one point in my development they were my inspiration.

The Boxcar Children series by Gertrude Chandler Warner
I recall going to our public library when I was 11 and going to the same section every time; I just wanted to get a new Pony Pals or Boxcar Children book. I loved the Boxcar Children books for the same reasons I liked the Pony Pals books, but more specifically because they were mysteries. I thought the mysteries were not only engaging and exciting, but I actually learned some cool stuff from some of the books. It was heartwarming to read about the four siblings and their grandfather working together. (Not to mention the characters seemed totally real! I am 100% Jessie!) Honestly, books that center around kids solving mysteries independently yet without being in rebellion against or going totally without adult authorities seem to be few and far between. If I were to read When I read the Boxcar Children today, I still enjoy them.

The Horsefeathers Series by Dandi Daley Mackall
(Have you noticed a common theme yet with me and horse books?)
The Horsefeathers books were probably the first Christian fiction books I ever read. I read them for the first time when I was around 11 (I've read them countless times since,) and they totally changed the way I saw books. For the first time, I recognized the power of a story to impart life-changing spiritual truth. The books are about Scoop, a teenage horse gentler with a broken family and her horse, Orphan. Her life is tough, but she has good friends and her Aunt Dotty who always points her to God and teaches her what is most important in life. These books had well-developed and creative characters, awesome plots and story-lines, touching themes, and awesome settings. The spiritual lessons that Scoop learned impacted my life greatly, and I totally obsessed over the teenage horse gentler thing, and ate up all the cool facts I learned about horse care and training!

Winnie the Horse Gentler Series By Dandi Daley Mackall
The Winnie books seem like they were written for slightly younger ages than the Horsefeather books, but I read them when I was older because I didn't discover them until then. It was so funny, because comparing the Horsefeather series and the Winnie series, they both have so many similarities with characters and settings, but they are both so different at the same time! I love Dandi Daley Mackall's writing style, and I think her writing style probably influenced mine the most. The fact that she wrote about horses was just a HUGE bonus. :) Fun fact: The Winnie books were what indirectly inspired me to write "My Father's Princess." I was at a friends' house and we were just getting to know her, so I asked if she liked to read and mentioned the Winnie books. That opened up the floodgates, she introduced me to Dandi Daley Mackall's "Starlight Animal Rescue" series (which is connected to the Winnie series), and my friend, sister and I were inspired to start our own series called "The Outsiders." We planned to each write books for the series that told connected stories about troubled kids who find Jesus. That is how I started writing "My Father's Princess." :)

The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare
My all-time favorite book, EVER!! (And may I just say, it is impressive if I can ever pick anything that stays my favorite. But this book beats all the other books I've ever read by far!) I read it for the first time when I was ten in my homeschool co-op's literature class with my favorite teacher, and I have read it all the way through at least five times since. (That's not counting the countless times I've picked it up and just jumped around, reading a chapter or two here and there for therapeutic value.) The first time I read it the first chapter seemed a little slow, but after that I devoured it all. Historical fiction is my all time favorite genre, and if it's biblical fiction that gets bonus points. A story that is engaging, thrilling, and exciting, characters that are real and relatable, a good solid lesson that can impact my life, and some heartwarming elements thrown in there for a good measure makes a good book for me. The Bronze Bow fits the bill and goes over, above, and beyond by a universe! A lot of things can make me want to cry, but most of the time I control it and don't actually cry because 1.) the feeling passes too quickly to justify putting the book down to wipe my eyes, and 2.) I'm too self-conscious to cry in front of others (namely all the little siblings that I ironically tune out whenever I'm reading.) The ending of The Bronze Bow, however, has made me cry unashamedly all five times that I've read it through. A must-read for anyone and everyone!!!

Millie Keith: A Life of Faith series
So, I attempted reading the first Elsie Dinsmore book when I was 10 or 11 because my friends at the time kept recommending it, but I absolutely could not get through it. There were many reasons that book just didn't work for me, including 1.) Elsie was too perfect to be relatable at all, 2.) I could not handle the gross injustice that Elsie experienced and just put up with. As the indignant child that I was, I wanted her to get revenge on her tormentors! Okay, maybe not revenge, but at least just fair play for Pete's sake! 3.) She spent way too much time crying and bemoaning how "wicked" she was, when she was a perfect little angel. 4.) I got to the chapter where a rattlesnake was mentioned and that sealed the deal right there. I put that book down and never picked it up again. However, when I was maybe 14 and got the first four Millie books (revised and adapted from Martha Finley's original Mildred Keith books), I couldn't put them down! The books got better as they went on! Filled with wit, humor, relatable lessons, exciting story-lines, and awesome time-period historical facts, I felt like I grew with the Lord as Millie did. The books are out of print now and the later ones in the series are pretty expensive on Amazon, so I had to wait 'til Christmas to get the next book. This was especially hard for the girl who would pick it up and not be able to put it down until she finished it that day (A.K.A., me). I nearly killed myself over the anxiety of what would happen; those books end on some intense cliff-hangers! These books are probably at least my second-favorite of all time right now. I really hope to adapt them into a movie someday. That would be AWESOME!!

Laddie by Gene Stratton Porter
Honestly, this was probably the first book I read that actually made me laugh out loud MULTIPLE times. I got it for some holiday when I was in my pre-teens/early teens, but I didn't crack it open until I needed something good to read during the Standardized Testing administered in our homeschool group a couple years ago. I remember someone telling me they were watching me laugh as I was reading it in the testing room, and they were wondering what could have been so funny! I can't even remember the overall theme of the book anymore, but I remember it having some awesome characters (particularly the endearing and colorful little girl protagonist), the story was compelling (it was one I couldn't put down until 3am), the dialogue and descriptions were whippersnappers, and overall it was a sweet story about family and growing up, centered around a beloved older brother's romance and told from the candid perspective of a young girl. Creative, fun, hilarious, and endearing!


Well, I guess that does it for now. Honestly, this post took me forever to edit. There is so much I could say about so many different books and authors that impacted my life, but I have to stop here because this post is getting way too long. Tell me about your favorite books and authors in the comments! I'd love some summer reading ideas! :)

Courage Does't Always Roar

Can you think of a time that you were scared of something? I'll be vulnerable and tell you that I was scared to push that "Publish" button just now!

Why is fear so recurrent in our lives? There are countless things we get afraid of. For me, I get creeped out by snakes, mummies, and anything inside a body that you can't see without using a knife. I also tend to be nervous and anxious about social events. (Have you ever heard that most authors are severe introverts? Well, it's totally true!)

The Bible tells us that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of self-control." During those childhood nights of staying awake wide-eyed because snakes were waiting to torment me the second I closed my eyes, I often wondered what exactly this verse meant. I mean, it's great to quote it as some sort of encouragement, but I found that it never really encouraged me to the point that I could actually go to sleep. Now that I'm older, I realize that there is another whole level of fear: fear of rejection, fear for the future, fear of being hurt by love, fear of being vulnerable, and fear of offending someone. These fears touch a much deeper part of our being, but I find them almost easier to deal with than those more "childish" fears, because they are easier to reason with Biblically--they're not so irrational as a fear of monsters.

Fear is a very powerful thing. It can make us act irrationally, and from fear stem strong and destructive emotions such as hate, greed, envy, and want for absolute control.

Most people outgrow their childish fears, but what if you don't? I'll admit, I am still terrified of snakes. Mummies still creep me out, and I still want to get sick whenever I see (or even think about!) blood or gore. I often get annoyed at the fact that these "silly" fears still control my life. What is it that can help me get over them?

Most of us know that courage is the opposite of fear, right? Honestly, I think that faith, stemming from God's perfect love, is the opposite of fear. Courage might make you "buck-up" and face your fear, but what if your fear is too big for you to face alone? Faith assures you that God is all-powerful and sovereign over everything. He is there to help you, He has your best interest in mind, and He will never leave you or forsake you. When the monsters are staring you in the face, faith will help you to look past them to God, even though the monsters block your vision. Then you can be reminded that God is bigger and stronger than any power that fear has over you.

Sometimes, courage doesn't make you feel like a lion ready to conquer it's prey. Sometimes, courage is that still small voice that you hear in faith that tells you, "It's okay. I'm here with you."

Something New (and Summer Plans!)

Y'know how when you look back on writing you did a year or so ago (or a month...or a week!) you always cringe inwardly and wish that you could throw it into a volcano? No? It's just me? Oh. Well, anyways, looking back on my early blog posts (a whole nine posts over nine months! Way to go Ceylan...), I'm realizing that I need to bite the bullet and get more personal.

So, in my awkward attempt to do that, I thought I'd give a bit of a look into some of the projects I'm currently working on and some interests that I'm hoping to pursue. Since it's nearly summer and it's apparently popular to shares all your great plans for the season, I can trick myself into believing that this is a relevant blog post. If I bore you, let me know in the comments.

• Scriptwriting and Filmmaking: So, when I was about 12, I watched a "behind-the-scenes" feature on one my favorite movies at the time. That sparked an interest in me for filmmaking, and a group of my friends and I decided to reenact the movie and film our own version of it. (I always was the visionary force...I'm not sure how many of my friends actually appreciated it. Please don't ask me to recount all the times I got us all into trouble! If you ask my sister, however, she would probably be more than happy to tell a couple stories.) Even though the project failed (quite miserably, according to my standards), I continued to have an interest in movie-making that has grown over the years. Over the past year or so I've been learning more about the craft, and right now I'm working on finishing up an original screenplay that I've been writing since I was 14. (Maybe I'll do a little feature on it in a future blog post. Maybe.) I've enjoyed producing little projects here and there, and in true "Ceylan" fashion, most of them are still unfinished. But if God opens the door, I would love to pursue more of a "career" education in Christian filmmaking, and I plan on producing more projects either in the near-future, or the not-so-near-future. 
• Acting: It's VBS drama season!! =D This kinda goes along with the filmmaking thing, but around the time I got into filmmaking, I took an Historical Drama class, and found I really liked acting! After being involved in a few productions through classes I took, I started helping out with the VBS drama team that some close friends head up. I've LOVED the experience over the past three years! Bethany is an amazing director! :)
• Hippotherapy: Okay, WHAT is hippotherapy?! Glad you asked! I'll try to rein in my passion and not go into a long explanation. ;) Basically, hippotherapy is therapeutic horseback riding. It's great for helping people with disabilities improve their balance, coordination, strength, posture, self-esteem, and communication skills. I never grew out of the little girl "horse lover" stage, and I've always hoped to own my own barn when I grow up. A few years ago, I learned about hippotherapy, and I started honing in my interest on a career there. So, as a first step in that direction, I started volunteering at a therapeutic riding center near us. As a volunteer, I get to help with lessons as a "sidewalker" (someone who walks alongside the horse and helps the student maintain their balance.) I'm SO excited to have this opportunity, and I'm looking forward to spending more time at the barn getting experience in this area, to see if it might pan out as a possible career path for me. 

So, I guess that's it for now. I apologize for my blogging incompetence, and I hope you can bear with me as I am still trying to figure out my blogging style. Let me know what you think about all this, and I'll try not to make you too schizophrenic with my blogging! :)

Have a wonderful week!
Ceylan

Overflowing with Thankfulness

Have you ever been so thankful that you thought you could never express it with a thousand words?

This past month, I've been working on a school project that required a lot of planning, and a lot of volunteers working together to make it happen. I went through many frustrating late nights (actually, VERY early mornings) trying to plan through every detail I could think of in order to pull off a big day for all the willing people and I to get together and accomplish the bulk of the work. Although I had given the project to God many times, I had my doubts about whether it would work out or not. After putting in an 18-hour, non-stop, hectic day, I had accomplished all that I planned to and more. At the end of the day, looking around at everyone who gave so many hours of their time and worked so hard with no break, I thought I'd never be able to say "thank you" enough!

Have you ever had an experience like that? On the contrary, have you ever bent over backwards to help or bless somebody--whether you were asked to or not--and they didn't even show that they noticed? "Thank you" is such a simple thing to say, but it can really hurt when those words of appreciation are lacking...especially if a person has sacrificed a lot of themselves for another.

All this got me to thinking: When is the last time I was overflowing with thankfulness to God? He gave the ultimate--the greatest--sacrifice of Himself for us, and yet we tend to take for granted the most basic gifts that He gives to us on a daily basis. Sure, we all say we're thankful, but do we tell God "thank you" daily, good day or bad day? Even if we do say "thank you," have you ever gotten those butterflies in your stomach and been rendered breathless because you feel like you're going to explode with thankfulness? I think this is what David was talking about when he wrote,

"Shout for joy to God, all the earth; sing the glory of His name; give to Him glorious praise! Say to God, "How awesome are Your deeds!""(Psalms 66:1-3a)

"Sing aloud to God our strength; shout for joy to the God of Jacob! Raise a song; sound the tambourine, the sweet lyre with the harp." (Psalms 81:1-2) 

"It is good to give thanks to the LORD, to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your steadfast love in the morning, and Your faithfulness by night, to the music of the lute and the harp, to the melody of the lyre. For You, O LORD,  have made me glad by Your work; at the works of Your hands I sing for joy." (Psalms 92:1-4) 

"Oh come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise! For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods." (Psalms 95:1-3)  

"Oh sing to the LORD a new song, for He has done marvelous things! His right hand and His holy arm have worked salvation for Him." (Psalms 98:1) 

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul and forget not all His benefits." (Psalms 103:1-2) 

"Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the peoples! Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works! Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice!" (Psalms 105:1-3)

Sometimes, I think, we don't feel like we have something worth feeling that way about because we don't look for it. God is always looking to show Himself strong to His people, and it is often in the little things--the details. God is a God of details, but we are a busy, fast-paced people, and often we are too distracted to really take time and look at the details. If you look hard enough, you can see God's hand in the smallest of things.

As people, I think we tend to shy away from feelings that are uncomfortable or unfamiliar. But feeling breathless because you suddenly recognize God's goodness to you is a good place to be. Though perhaps uncomfortable or unfamiliar, I think basking in that feeling is a good thing to embrace now and then. Taking a quiet moment to say "Thank you, God!" is a good practice to get into.

Take a moment now, and just stop. Breathe in deeply. Now breathe out. Breathe in again. You were just given an overwhelming blessing--another breath of life! We don't know how many more breathes we have before our time on earth is over. Let's all resolve to live overflowing with thankfulness and praise to God with whatever time we have left.

From my heart to yours, I want to extend a very special "Thank you!" to all of you who are supporting me in my endeavors!

Through a Foggy Window

Come on, admit it; we've all been there. Driving in the car on a cold, dreary day, the foggy windows beckon to you and you just can't restrain your fingers from etching great pieces of art into the cool, moist surface. The world outside is obscure, hidden strangely enough behind a vapor of tiny water droplets clinging to a piece of glass.

Have you ever looked at your future the same way? a clean, spacious glass canvas that you just itch to write all over? We draw our own plans and dreams in the clouds, and we trust in our own artistic abilities to paint a beautiful picture. But we all know what inevitably happens, no matter how perfectly or beautifully you plan your picture. Before you scarcely have time to admire your handiwork, a single, heavy droplet of water runs down the smooth glass, ruining your picture in its tiny wake. More droplets fall, destroying what once seemed perfect to you. A strange thing happens, though. Have you ever noticed that those tiny rivers shredding your artwork to bits actually allow you to see through the glass clearly? My own efforts at "art" seem very clumsy and cheesy when I have a chance to observe the colorful, 3-dimensional, magnificent and real work of the Creator.

Quickly, the glass fogs up again, offering the same itchy temptation to draw our own pictures once again. I have fallen into the trap many times. My thinking becomes clouded by my own desires, and I attempt to draw my own future. Sometimes it takes God sending a destructive drop of water through our "perfect" plans so that we can see clearly the picture He has already drawn for us. It's just a glimpse, but we can trust Him since we know that His artwork is so much more magnificent than ours. My desire to have control over my own future can leave me blinded, thinking I have something great when really I'm settling for so much less than what God has the ability to give to me.

I pray that I will always be open to see beyond my ruined picture, and joyfully accept God's gentle and serene (yet irritating) interruptions to give me a glimpse at the Real Picture.

Turtle on a Fencepost

Hi everyone!
I know I haven't blogged in a long time...the charger for my laptop actually broke, so my computer was out of commission until a new one arrived from Amazon. (Well, if I were to be totally truthful, that's not the main reason I don't blog very often. Can I make a confession? I actually don't like blogging. *GASP* There, I said it! XP)

Anyways, enough of that. :) Even though I'm not very good at blogging (I can never seem to think of something to say!) I'm trying to get better. My apologies for having to put up with me while I learn as I go!

Last week I was listening to the radio, and I heard a preacher mention the phrase "a turtle on a fence post." That phrase intrigued me, so I continued listening. The preacher told a story that, if I remember correctly, went something like this: There was once a godly, Christian man who had accomplished great things in his life, and many people admired him for his great accomplishments. One day, while being picked up at an airport by one such admirer, he humbly deferred his praise and quoted, "I'm just a turtle on a fence post." The man who was picking him up questioned him about the strange phrase, and he went on to explain his meaning. He said that back when he was in grade school, if he saw a turtle sitting on a fence post, he automatically knew that it had not gotten there by itself. Someone must have picked it up and placed it on that post. The preacher's point in telling this story was to illustrate how God is constantly raising up ordinary people to a new height in order to use them for His purposes.

To use an analogy that the preacher I heard on the radio used in his sermon: if anyone had said at the genesis of the Christian church that Saul (Paul) was going to be one of the most influential apostles and possibly one of the most incredible evangelists in all of history, everyone would have laughed. Saul, who was bent on destroying the Christian church, would have laughed the hardest. Even on the road to Damascus, in the uncomfortable position of seeing and hearing God Himself question him about his life choices and being literally blinded by His glory, he still might have laughed at God's drastic plans to change his life. He was an example of a turtle on a fence post.

The simple but profound truth stuck with me as I brewed over it. Sometimes I find myself in situations that, frankly, I'd rather not be in. Whenever I'm brought out of my comfort zone and am thrust into a tough or sticky situation, I tend to either cower and become anxious about the unseen future, or groan and complain about how I am supposed to make it through. These crossroads in our lives can seem like the biggest inconvenience at the time, but God must be up in heaven laughing at our response in our limited vision, as He unfolds the plan that only He knows and only He can conceive for our lives.

God has been teaching me about the realities of His sovereignty lately. I need to cling to the truth that He knows what He's doing, even when we feel like our life is going to pot. Every single "depth of despair" we encounter...He has accounted for. He has known every second of what will happen in our lives since the dawn of time. Every time we are tempted to despair, we should remember that we only see from our limited perspective. God sees the whole picture...and the glorious end in sight. His goal is His glory and our good. Keeping our lives and hearts open to His working in us is the real and the only key to success.

Uncomfortable situations sometimes pop up more than we'd like them to. But what if God's purpose in bringing us to those places of desperation--even places of confusion and doubt--is to bring us closer to His plan for us? I know that if I amount to anything in my life, it would only be because of God's amazing power. His desire and the reason we exist is to bring glory to His Name.

I'm just a turtle on a fence post.

He Makes All Things New

God has a way of speaking to me through music. (Which is kind of ironic, because I am not musically talented in the least!) One of my favorite artists is Andrew Peterson. His music is so deep, so profound. As the New Year is starting, I've been thinking about his song called, "All Things New." The chorus goes like this:

Rise up O you sleeper, awake!
The light of the dawn is upon you
Rise up of you sleeper, awake!
He makes all things new.

Ever since I was a toddler, I didn't like to try anything until I felt I could do it, and do it well. I didn't start talking until I was three years old--but when I did start I was speaking in full sentences. My personality in that respect could be labeled as being a perfectionist, but I think there's something else there, too. I have a tendency to want to stay inside what is safe and familiar. Venturing out into the unknown, the untested, is a scary thought to me, and probably to some of you too.  The future is unpredictable, and giving over our will for our future to God can be a very arduous process for anyone like me. When we give over everything to God, we let go of the wheel.  It takes total trust and faith to "let go and let God," because when we do, we relinquish all of our control to a God who is not held back by anything. I cannot predict God. I am finite, He is infinite. I am limited in my sight, He is unlimited. What uncharted waters might He bring me through? Sometimes, we can go so far as to put God in a box--shut Him into a small place in the back of our minds--so that we (think) we have more control over our destiny. We all know that God wants us to surrender our lives to Him, but it is so hard!

God isn't out to make our lives miserable, but His purpose is to give us a life of fulfillment in His purposes. He promises that our life will be hard and that we will face trials, but His dreams for us are so much better than our own dreams! "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts from your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9) A favorite song in our house recently has been "Dream For You," by Casting Crowns. They describe it so well!

I am blind, and He is leading me. Walking by faith means letting Him take your hand and guide you, even though you can't see where He is taking you.

God's call to us is to wake up, and realize the great future He has planned for us! He is making us into new creatures, mirroring Christ's righteousness, and He wants us to wake up and see the light at the end of a long tunnel called "surrender."

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11