Reading the title of this post, you probably instantly became either excited ("Yay! Someone else thinks like me!"), shocked ("What!??!! What is this girl's deal?"), or curious ("hmmm...never heard this before.")
Before we jump in, let me make a clarification: When I say that I don't read Christian romance novels, I don't mean that I don't read books with romance in them. To be quite fair, some of my favorite novels have romantic aspects in them (more on that later). What I mean is that I stay away from novels--even Christian ones--with the entire prose being, "Girl loves this totally perfect guy! Guy ignores girl. Girl goes through major heartache before deciding to do something about it. Girl get's guy!" Let's be perfectly honest here, those books are stupid, annoying, and just plain dumb. Romance novels in general tend to be extremely graphic--like a rated R movie--and putting the word "Christian" in front of these novels usually doesn't help. They can still be pointless, sensual, irresponsible, and unedifying--possibly more disappointing than regular romance novels, because Christians are supposed to be held to a higher standard.
How can romance novels be so bad? Let me put it this way: romance novels (in most cases even "Christian" ones,) are to girls what pornography is to guys. Both feed the lust of a girl or a guy. Both paint unrealistic expectations of what real love is, so that when someone who is used to indulging in those expectations ends up getting married in real life, they become disenchanted when it doesn't meet the ideals that they have been fed. These glorified images--be them pictures or words that set your imagination running--can turn into idolatry.
Us girls have very sensitive heartstrings. Authors and publishing companies know this, and they know that most girls will gobble up anything that feeds their emotional desire for romance. When you read a book (or watch a movie), the authors and storytellers are trying to emotionally rope you in to get you to keep reading past the first page. (Y'all knew this, right? You're not suddenly thinking that all writers are malicious, right?) A good author knows how to connect you emotionally with her characters, so that as you are reading about their lives, you can identify with the protagonist(s). All authors will tell you that this is a super effective tool in writing to connect with their readers. The thing is, this is also a very powerful tool, and authors have to be very careful about what they draw their readers into emotionally. Romantic novels are crafted solely to satisfy a girl's desire for emotional romanticism. I'm sure you can all identify (either first-hand or second-hand) with falling in love with a main character from a book or movie.
Here's the thing with romance novels: THEY ARE ENTIRELY UNREALISTIC! They abound with guys who have no physical or character flaws (or flaws that are glorified to become "hot," like the likability of the "bad boy), "heroines" whose world solely revolves around her and her heartache, and situations in which it is excusable or understandable to go haywire. These characters' world is artificially manufactured by the author to create the most drama possible, most of which would never happen in real life, making it difficult to discern what the right thing is to do in real life situations.
What is the purpose in these novels, anyways? The girl always gets the guy at the end. So what? Is that a good moral to apply to everyday life? "Any and every guy your feelings happen to take a fancy to is DEFINITELY the one for you, and you CERTAINLY should not let anything get in the way of you two. And don't listen to anyone trying to tell you otherwise." The hard truth is, feelings can lead you drastically astray. Just because you are in love with a guy does NOT mean that said guy is the right one for you. Girls need to be hearing that self-control and purity starts in their thoughts carries into their actions, instead of creating an appetite for idolatrous romance and the message that we deserve to be with any guy that makes us feel good.
Now let me make an important distinction here. I am not saying that all books with romance in them are bad. Honestly, what YA fiction book doesn't have some degree of a romantic side-story in it? Some of the best books I ever read ("Mara, Daughter of the Nile," "Harvest of Rubies" and "Harvest of Gold," "The Trail of Tears" and "The Bronze Bow" to name a few) have a guy and a girl that fall in love and/or are married. However, I did not love these books because of their romantic aspects. Some authors get romance right and don't paint everything with rose-colored glasses that entangle us emotionally in unrealistic expectations. Most of the time, I enjoy a book in spite of the romance. I end up loving it because of the author's style, story, theme, and the lesson taught, not the thrill from reading about a guy and a girl.
To sum up, romance is not a bad thing per se. BUT, the subtleties can create idolatrous ideals without our realizing it. What we read does effect us, and the way that romance novels unconsciously effect us can be very destructive to real-life relationships. I know that this is a very controversial topic and that people have different standards. This is just an explanation of why I chose my standards. No matter what, we should always strive to please God with what we are consuming our thoughts and our time with.
To sum up, romance is not a bad thing per se. BUT, the subtleties can create idolatrous ideals without our realizing it. What we read does effect us, and the way that romance novels unconsciously effect us can be very destructive to real-life relationships. I know that this is a very controversial topic and that people have different standards. This is just an explanation of why I chose my standards. No matter what, we should always strive to please God with what we are consuming our thoughts and our time with.
